Do Not Throw Away Your Confidence
February 1, 2013
Friday of the Third
Week in Ordinary Time
By Melanie Rigney
Remember the days past when, after you had
been enlightened, you endured a great contest of suffering. At times you were
publicly exposed to abuse and affliction; at other times you associated
yourselves with those so treated. You even joined in the sufferings of those in
prison and joyfully accepted the confiscation of your property, knowing that
you had a better and lasting possession. Therefore, do not throw away your
confidence; it will have great recompense. You need endurance to do the will of
God and receive what he has promised. (Hebrews 10:32-36)
The salvation of the just comes from Lord. (Psalm 37:39)
Jesus said to the
crowds:“This is how it is with the Kingdom of God; it is as if a man were to
scatter seed on the land and would sleep and rise night and day and the seed
would sprout and grow, he knows not how. Of its own accord the land yields
fruit, first the blade, then the ear, then the full grain in the ear. And when
the grain is ripe, he wields the sickle at once, for the harvest has come.” (Mark
4:26-29)
Piety
Lord, I ask for your help in running this marathon, long and
sometimes rocky and lonely. I ask that you sustain me in the challenging times,
and help me to keep you foremost during the joyful sprints as well.
Study
When I first came back to the Church after an absence of
thirty-plus years, it was so easy. Not the struggles about whether I could be
one in the body of Christ and whether the Church would take me back… those
parts were demanding. But those initial mainly halcyon months back with the
Eucharist and crying at practically every Mass about the beauty of the Liturgy
and getting to know people, both loving and challenging, that was all a piece
of cake. Even the fights with my then-pastor and my over-enlistment in every
service opportunity I could lay my hands on were easy. I wore my Ash Wednesday
forehead cross proudly, almost defiantly. I gave of my limited treasure until
it pinched—pinched hard. Being the returning Catholic girl brought both God and
me attention.
It started becoming difficult when I stopped thinking about
me and started thinking more about God and his will, about how I was to use my
gifts and talents not for my glory but for his. It meant more time in
contemplation with Scripture and teachings, more time sitting at this desk and
praying for the Holy Spirit’s guidance in writing, and less time in more public
ministries that it turned out I had entered for me rather than for him. It
became even more difficult seven months ago when I was called to begin
attending another parish where no one knows my name, where I am truly an
anonymous member of the body of Christ instead of one of the go-to volunteers.
And as I watch my calendar clear of service appointments I
once thought essential for my well being if not God’s to make more time for the
quiet work he calls me to do, I think about the guidance of Mark and of the
writer of Hebrews. Every spiritual journey has its spots where God’s will turns
out to be different from what we thought it was, when it turns out the seed we
are call to scatter is for a crop we don’t understand or a crop different from
what we expected or desired. May he grant each of us the confidence and
endurance to see the journey through.
Action
Where are you being short sighted about God’s desires? Pray
for the faith and guidance to change course.