My Reward Is With The Lord

April 3 2012

Tuesday of Holy Week

By Beth DeCristofaro

The LORD called me from birth, from my mother's womb he gave me my name. …Though I thought I had toiled in vain, and for nothing, uselessly, spent my strength, Yet my reward is with the LORD, my recompense is with my God. (Isaiah 49:1,4)

Reclining at table with his disciples, Jesus was deeply troubled and testified, "Amen, amen, I say to you, one of you will betray me." (John 13:21)

Piety

R. Hear, O Lord, and have mercy upon us, who have sinned against Thee.

King, high exalted, all the world's Redeemer, to Thee we lift out eyes with weeping: Christ, we implore Thee, hear Thy suppliant's prayers. R.

Right hand of Godhead, headstone of the corner, path of salvation, gate of heaven, wash away the stains of our sin. R.

We, Thy eternal majesty entreating, with Thy blessed ears hear our sighing: graciously grant pardon to our sins. R.

Humbly confess we, who have sinned against Thee, with contrite hearts we reveal things hidden; O Redeemer, may Thy pity grant forgiveness. R.

Led away captive, guiltless, unresisting, condemned by false witnesses unto death for sinners, Christ do Thou keep us whom Thy blood hath ransomed. R.

(Attende Domine – Hear O Lord)

Study

Jesus was deeply troubled… That’s probably not how I would describe myself when I feel betrayed. It would be more fitting to say crushed, angry, sanctimonious and, yes, vengeful. Although I’ve never faced anything like Jesus did, I’ve certainly reacted strongly to situations in which a colleague treats me as if I do not know how to do my job or a family member rejects the advice I’ve offered and does what he wants to do with the help I’ve offered. Certainly I have been hurt when someone turns their back and I do not know what I’ve done.

Frankly and honestly, I wonder if my harsh reactions are in part rooted in the betrayal I have meted out – even if unconsciously in arrogance or insensitivity – to others? Jesus’ response is not vengeance or even a desire to put the record straight. Jesus’ reaction is love and he is deeply troubled because his love is not accepted. He knows what this means for him and he know what this means for Judas. There is a breach of love in this story and yet, without it, the story does not progress to the resurrection. Jesus’ love is complete without Judas’ acceptance. Jesus’ love fills the world with his divine sacrifice and promise, a gesture at once larger and more foundational than any human gesture. Jesus’ love is the root of my human gestures of love.

Action

Where is there a breach of love in your life? Consider it honestly. It is a cross you are bearing and which; perhaps, you have loaded onto the back of another. What amends can you make this holiest of weeks? Walk the via dolorosa with Jesus as you seek to put the love of Jesus first and act from that love.