“Take Nothing but Jesus” by Beth DeCristofaro
…you have approached Mount Zion and the city of the living God (Hebrews 12:22)
Jesus summoned the Twelve and began to send them out two by two and gave them authority over unclean spirits. He instructed them to take nothing for the journey but a walking stick –no food, no sack, no money in their belts. (Mark 6:7-8)
Piety
“My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going.
I do not see the road ahead of me.
I cannot know for certain where it will end.
Nor do I really know myself,
and the fact that I think I am following your will
does not mean that I am actually doing so.
But I believe that the desire to please you
does, in fact, please you.
And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing.
I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire.
And I know that, if I do this,
You will lead me by the right road,
though I may know nothing about it.
Therefore I will trust you always
though I may seem to be lost
and in the shadow of death.
I will not fear, for you are ever with me,
and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.”
I do not see the road ahead of me.
I cannot know for certain where it will end.
Nor do I really know myself,
and the fact that I think I am following your will
does not mean that I am actually doing so.
But I believe that the desire to please you
does, in fact, please you.
And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing.
I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire.
And I know that, if I do this,
You will lead me by the right road,
though I may know nothing about it.
Therefore I will trust you always
though I may seem to be lost
and in the shadow of death.
I will not fear, for you are ever with me,
and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.”
Study
Over the years I have had many supervisory sessions where I received feedback, advice, redirection even chastisement. Sometimes these conversations are enlightening and insightful. Sometimes they are disparaging. One administrator who needed me to understand that the needs of the organization outweighed the need of my employee whom I was tasked to lay off helped me complete that dreaded duty with support. The director guiding me in development as a Catholic lay chaplain helped me as I struggled due to the suffering of patients. But a manager who did not understand nor agree with my advocacy for patients nit-picked tasks I had not completed and disdained my commitment to the healthcare team. Most of us probably find such encounters to be stressful. Many times, I found myself talking fast, justifying, explaining away, pointing out strengths in a nervous reaction. In fact, sometimes I was burdened with too much baggage which tripped me up. So were many of my managers I came to realize.
And Jesus asks me to be wife, daughter, chaplain, lay leader without taking a suitcase full of resources, office skills, official insignia, cemented beliefs, even comfortable fears, and certainties.
Jesus gave the disciples a precise mission to act in his name, share the Word and witness to the Christ. And that is what he asks of each of us, to be open to God, free of fixations and a false sense of our proficiency as human beings. Jesus asks me instead to go forth with Him, alone and faith-filled, secure in knowing that He leads. Together we stand before the living city of God. I do not have authority over contemporary unclean spirits nor over my own insufficiencies without him. In fact, Jesus frees me to know, love and serve God more out of my inadequacies.
Action
Imagine sitting in a supervisory conversation with Jesus. What is your baggage? What would you say? What would you hear Jesus say to you?
Listen to “Tango with God” being aware of and asking to be free of your own preoccupations. Then attend to Jesus’ desire for you.
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