“All I Long For” by Beth DeCristofaro

“All I Long For” by Beth DeCristofaro

Thursday of the Twenty-second Week in Ordinary Time

Simon said in reply, "Master, we have worked hard all night and have caught nothing, but at your command, I will lower the nets." When they had done this, they caught a great number of fish and their nets were tearing. When Simon Peter saw this, he fell at the knees of Jesus and said, "Depart from me, Lord, for I am a sinful man." Jesus said to Simon, "Do not be afraid; from now on you will be catching men." When they brought their boats to the shore, they left everything and followed him. (Luke 5:5-6, 8, 10-11)

Piety

Lord, you have come to the seashore
Neither searching for the rich nor the wise,
desiring only that I should follow.

REFRAIN: 

O Lord, with your eyes set upon me,
gently smiling, you have spoken my name;
all I longed for I have found by the water.

At your side, I will seek other shores.

Lord, see my goods, my possessions;
in my boat, you find no power, no wealth.
Will you accept then my nets and labor? (Refrain)

Lord, take my hands and direct them
Help me spend myself in seeking the lost,
returning love for the love you gave me. (Refrain)

Lord, as I drift on the waters
be the resting place of my restful heart,
my life’s companion, my friend, and refuge.

(Pescador de Hombres, Cesareo Gabarain, https://forums.catholic.com/t/lyrics-to-a-song/43574)

Study

Do you find yourself answering life’s experiences like Peter with the pedantic, churlish tone of “if you insist, then I’ll do it?”  If so, you aren’t alone. Our humanity calls us to the safety and comfort we develop within our psyches. For me, one of those places is professional expertise – the voice Peter used when he emphasized that he knew what he was doing. Proficiency is undoubtedly essential, but Jesus calls each of us out of our comfort zones to all for which we honestly long. Can we give up the voice which we have learned, cultivated, of which we are proud and in which we are certain to hear His voice instead?

In today’s Gospel, I heard my voice: hot-headed, abrupt, opinionated, and not interested in leaving a comfort zone of fishing, family, and creature comforts.  Jesus softened Peter’s heart. Peter’s knees then gave way at the transcendent realization that his soul had been recognized, touched, and called by the Messiah. Jesus reassured him and the onlookers that they need not be afraid. Somehow, I suspect that was scant comfort.

How often have I been so satisfied with myself that I have not recognized the presence of God? So intent on getting done what was next of the list that I did not push swing a child on a swing? So cynical of the intentions of others that I passed by a homeless person keeping my change to myself? So focused on the work on my desk that a client or colleague’s questioning went unanswered? So sure, that my political ideology was right that I scorned the opening to dialogue from an “opponent.” So focused on the ceremonial that I missed the mystery?

Action

Jesus approached the disciples in their well-worn places of comfort, and he comes to us there as well. He asks more than belief. Jesus asks acceptance that we follow his direction, speak his word, live his love for ourselves and others. What fears keep me from putting down my nets and following?