“A Love Greater Than Any Other” by Colleen O’Sullivan

“A Love Greater Than Any Other” by Colleen O’Sullivan

Tuesday of Holy Week

For now, the LORD has spoken who formed me as his servant from the womb,
That Jacob may be brought back to him, and Israel gathered to him;
And I am made glorious in the sight of the LORD, and my God is now my strength!
It is too little, he says, for you to be my servant, to raise up the tribes of Jacob, and restore the survivors

   of Israel;

I will make you a light to the nations, that my salvation may reach to the ends of the earth. (Isaiah 49:5-6)

 

Reclining at table with his disciples, Jesus was deeply troubled and testified, “Amen, amen, I say to you, one of you will betray me.” (John 13:21)

 

“Master, who is it?”  Jesus answered, “It is the one to whom I hand the morsel after I have dipped it.”  So, he dipped the morsel and took it and handed it to Judas, son of Simon the Iscariot.  (John 13:25-26)

Simon Peter said to him, “Master, where are you going?”  Jesus answered him, “Where I am going, you cannot follow me now, though you will follow later.”  Peter said to him, “Master, why can I not follow you now?  I will lay down my life for you.”  Jesus answered, “Will you lay down your life for me?  Amen, amen, I say to you, the cock will not crow before you deny me three times.” (John 13:36-38)

Piety

Lord, like Peter, I thank You for loving me despite, or maybe because of, my weaknesses and failings.

Study

The Last Supper, Mosaic in St. Mark’s Basilica, Venice, 13^th c., Public Domain, Wikimedia Commons

Reminiscences of Peter

I find myself, old, imprisoned in Rome, so heavily chained to the floor I can barely move around in my cell.  There’s little to do but pray or write the odd letter now and then.  I spend much of my waking hours thinking back over the past.  Someone once asked me if I ever regretted leaving my dad’s fishing vessel to follow the Lord.  I admit I had no idea that day what I was getting myself into, but I’d do it all over again in a heartbeat.  How I loved Jesus, even when I had no idea who he was or what he was about!   It sounded exciting to be a fisher of men, but what did that entail?  I know now, but back then, it was all just a big lark.  The day Jesus wanted to know who others thought he was and then turned around and asked who we thought he was, and I proclaimed him the Christ, the Son of the Living God (Mt 16:16), I had no idea what any of that meant.  I was picturing a Messiah who would overthrow the Romans, but Jesus, the Son of God, turned out to be far greater than any Messiah I ever imagined.

My mind keeps wandering back to that final meal we all shared, although I didn’t realize then that it would be the last time we ever gathered like that around a table.  Thinking back, I am overwhelmed by the love Jesus had for us.  I can’t imagine how he must have felt, surrounded by such a bunch of cowards.  Only one of us, known to the high priest, slipped into his courtyard and stuck by Jesus through his sham of a trial and his torture.  Only John dared to stand with the women at the foot of the Cross.  Jesus knew us so well.  He knew I would betray him. Jesus knew Judas had control of our money and surmised that Judas would use the coins to sell Jesus out.  I honestly don’t know how Jesus sat through that meal, but he did.  And he kept us there for a long time afterward, washing our feet and trying to help us understand what was going to happen.  I couldn’t have done that.  My bones would have turned to jelly, thinking of what likely lay ahead.  Jesus had enemies at every turn, teeth bared, just waiting to sink their claws into him.  Although more severe than usual, Jesus never faltered, and it all had to be because of the love he had for us despite ourselves. 

Everywhere I’ve gone since those terrible dark days, I’ve been grateful for that love.  It’s the love with which Jesus forgave me for denying knowing him.  It’s the love that shone forth from his eyes when he asked me to feed his sheep and lambs and stated I would be the rock on which he built his Church.

Today, I’m just going to spend the day giving thanks for that Love that sustains me even here in this cell.  Thank you.  Thank you.  My love may not be perfect, but I will always love You, and I know You already know that.

Action

It is now Holy Week, and it may be tempting to think about our sins and betrayals of our Lord, but these are the days when we focus instead on the Lord and his suffering and death.  We genuinely want to accompany him during these difficult days.

Find a quiet place sometime today to contemplate today’s Gospel reading.  Reread John 13:21-33, 36-38.  Place yourself somewhere in that upper room.  Notice the expressions on everyone’s faces, especially Jesus’.  Hear the back and forth about who will betray Jesus.  What is your reaction?  Can you feel compassion for the Lord?  Is there anything you feel called to share with Jesus?  If you don’t want to say it in front of the disciples, maybe you can whisper it to Jesus as you all leave to walk to Gethsemane.