Heal my Doubt, Lord By Beth DeCristofaro
Second Sunday of Easter, Sunday of Divine Mercy
The community of believers was of one heart and mind, and no one claimed that any of his possessions was his own, but they had everything in common. With great power the apostles bore witness to the resurrection of the Lord Jesus, and great favor was accorded them all. (Acts 4:32-33)
Beloved: Everyone who believes that Jesus is the Christ is begotten by God, and everyone who loves the Father loves also the one begotten by him. In this way we know that we love the children of God when we love God and obey his commandments. For the love of God is this, that we keep his commandments. And his commandments are not burdensome, for whoever is begotten by God conquers the world. And the victory that conquers the world is our faith. (1 John 5:1-4)
Jesus said to them again, “Peace be with you. As the Father has sent me, so I send you.” And when he had said this, he breathed on them and said to them, “Receive the Holy Spirit. … Jesus said to (Thomas), “Have you come to believe because you have seen me? Blessed are those who have not seen and have believed.” (John 20:21-22, 29)
Piety
I doubt, Lord. Heal my doubt. Propel me to be of one heart and mind with you.
Study
Doubt seems omnipresent in our culture. Certainly, when I sit comfortably in my chair, reading or praying, I rarely am aware of doubt. But let an unexpected heart palpitation or a disturbing newscast or divisive comments from family occur, doubt creeps in. Doubt is like those tiny, quicksilver beads of mercury which, when you hold them in your hand (yes! we used to do that!), slide haphazardly to and fro without control. Doubt flashes, hard to ignore in our thoughts.
Jesus’ words to Thomas seem less critical of his doubt and more a rebuke for acting out of his doubt. “I will not believe” unless I see for myself, Thomas declared. Jesus extends his mercy, quenching the doubt. Jesus blesses those who must act in faith without proof. As followers of Jesus, we don’t always see with our physical eyes or hear with our bodies’ ears but see and hear with the grace of faith. People who live with severe illness and disability or their caregivers live with a lot of doubt. Will this treatment be effective? Is the pain going to diminish? Will I see my children have children? In my illness, there are many uncertainties, but I know in the depths of my being that I have been blessed with many graces. I have met caring people, found unexpected openings, and been accompanied by God’s healing in the darkest moments. Like many people, I take each day at a time and move forward out of the locked room of doubt with Jesus at my side.
Doubt can paralyze, but it can also be an inner alert. Where does this doubt originate? Will I act from fear, disappointment, betrayal? John’s epistle tells us that God’s commandments are not burdensome. Letting doubt shape what we do leads us to justify hurtful actions as we act on our own behalf, claiming it is motivated by God’s words. The passage in Acts characterizes the community as of one heart and mind. What do I value? I can choose to be demanding and self-centered. Sometimes this is confusing because legitimate self-care for myself or for our community is also valued! But choosing to claim that actions are in God’s name, but are based in doubt sprung of fear or feeling disregarded, in reality, divide the community and are against God’s directives. Do I choose to be of one heart and mind with the community of believers? It is in opening to the Holy Spirit that his disciples and I place trust in Jesus, walking forward despite doubt.
Action
The celebration of Divine Mercy Sunday is an opportunity
to reflect on the theme of how God’s mercy can overcome sin and, as the
Congregation for Divine Worship and the Discipline of the Sacraments states, “a
perennial invitation to the Christian world to face, with confidence in divine
benevolence, the difficulties and trials that mankind [sic] will experience in
the years to come.”
This article appeared in the May 2011 issue of U.S. Catholic (Vol.
76, No. 5, page 46).[i]
Do doubts hold me back from flinging open the doors of my locked room and receiving the fire, the peace, the passionate desire to be one with Jesus and the community of believers? Ask for the certainty of Thomas, Mary of Magdala and the Apostle John. Be grateful for that fire.
Illustration: https://i0.wp.com/www.thegregorian.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/DivineMercy.jpg
No comments:
Post a Comment