Do Not Throw Away Your Confidence

Do Not Throw Away Your Confidence

February 1, 2013

Friday of the Third Week in Ordinary Time

By Melanie Rigney

Remember the days past when, after you had been enlightened, you endured a great contest of suffering. At times you were publicly exposed to abuse and affliction; at other times you associated yourselves with those so treated. You even joined in the sufferings of those in prison and joyfully accepted the confiscation of your property, knowing that you had a better and lasting possession. Therefore, do not throw away your confidence; it will have great recompense. You need endurance to do the will of God and receive what he has promised. (Hebrews 10:32-36)

The salvation of the just comes from Lord. (Psalm 37:39)

Jesus said to the crowds:“This is how it is with the Kingdom of God; it is as if a man were to scatter seed on the land and would sleep and rise night and day and the seed would sprout and grow, he knows not how. Of its own accord the land yields fruit, first the blade, then the ear, then the full grain in the ear. And when the grain is ripe, he wields the sickle at once, for the harvest has come.” (Mark 4:26-29)

Piety

Lord, I ask for your help in running this marathon, long and sometimes rocky and lonely. I ask that you sustain me in the challenging times, and help me to keep you foremost during the joyful sprints as well.

Study

When I first came back to the Church after an absence of thirty-plus years, it was so easy. Not the struggles about whether I could be one in the body of Christ and whether the Church would take me back… those parts were demanding. But those initial mainly halcyon months back with the Eucharist and crying at practically every Mass about the beauty of the Liturgy and getting to know people, both loving and challenging, that was all a piece of cake. Even the fights with my then-pastor and my over-enlistment in every service opportunity I could lay my hands on were easy. I wore my Ash Wednesday forehead cross proudly, almost defiantly. I gave of my limited treasure until it pinched—pinched hard. Being the returning Catholic girl brought both God and me attention.

It started becoming difficult when I stopped thinking about me and started thinking more about God and his will, about how I was to use my gifts and talents not for my glory but for his. It meant more time in contemplation with Scripture and teachings, more time sitting at this desk and praying for the Holy Spirit’s guidance in writing, and less time in more public ministries that it turned out I had entered for me rather than for him. It became even more difficult seven months ago when I was called to begin attending another parish where no one knows my name, where I am truly an anonymous member of the body of Christ instead of one of the go-to volunteers.

And as I watch my calendar clear of service appointments I once thought essential for my well being if not God’s to make more time for the quiet work he calls me to do, I think about the guidance of Mark and of the writer of Hebrews. Every spiritual journey has its spots where God’s will turns out to be different from what we thought it was, when it turns out the seed we are call to scatter is for a crop we don’t understand or a crop different from what we expected or desired. May he grant each of us the confidence and endurance to see the journey through.

Action

Where are you being short sighted about God’s desires? Pray for the faith and guidance to change course.