Sunday, October 07, 2018

“Be Joined” by Diane Bayne

“Be Joined” by Diane Bayne


“The LORD God said: “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a suitable partner for him...” 2 Gn.18

“...The LORD God then built up into a woman the rib that he had taken from the man. When he brought her to the man, the man said: “This one, at last, is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; this one shall be called ‘woman,’ for out of her man this one has been taken.”  That is why a man leaves his father and mother and clings to his wife, and the two of them become one flesh.”  2 Gn. 22-24

“Your wife shall be like a fruitful vine in the recesses of your home; your children like olive plants around your table…Behold, thus is the man blessed
who fears the LORD.”  Psalm 128: 3-4

“But from the beginning of creation, God made them male and female. For this reason, a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, no human being must separate. In the house, the disciples again questioned Jesus about this. He said to them, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her; and if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery.”
Mark 10: 6-12
    
Piety
The above quotes from Scripture express the teaching about marriage at the time of Jesus who proclaimed the indissolubility of marriage, citing Genesis 1, 27 and 22- 24.

In Mark 10:6-10 Jesus repeats this teaching when He says: “...At the beginning of creation God made them male and female: for this reason, a man shall leave his father and mother and the two shall become as one.  They are no longer two but one flesh.  Therefore, let no man separate what God has joined.” 

No legislation, no civil law or social custom, or mutual consent, forges the unbreakable bond, but rather the divine involvement in the union of marriage.  In the divine “joining together,” God ratifies the mutual love of persons; their sexual union serves as a pledge of exclusive fidelity to each other.

The words of these two Scriptural citations in Mark are somewhat dissembled in Matthew 20, 11-13 when Jesus says “Not everyone can accept this teaching, only those to whom it is given to do so.  Some men are incapable of sexual activity from birth; some have been deliberately made so; and some there are who have freely renounced sex for the sake of God’s reign.  Let him accept this teaching who can.”

Study
The above words from Jesus proclaim that from the very beginning of creation God states the purpose for marriage–lifelong fidelity. However, Jesus’ words on the indissolubility of marriage set an ideal that, for many persons, is especially difficult for our times.  Because of changing conditions in human life over the past twenty centuries, a study of the environment must be included when one is considering all the ramifications of lifelong commitments. 

For example, during Jesus’ time, people’s lifespans were considerably less than those of people today.  In Jesus’ time, a lifelong commitment probably lasted between 20 and 30 years.  Today, because of advances in medical science and human health, people live much longer; many are faced by a 50 to 60-year commitment.   Also, today a lifelong commitment is seriously challenged by the way we are so influenced by the need for extended years of formal education, as well as by the current libertarian view that prizes personal fulfillment above all else.

Because of these changing situations, the whole idea of life-long commitment can prove undoable for many people. While emphasizing the ideal of lifelong fidelity, the Irish Association of Catholic Priests states that it is important to distinguish between the ancient ideal of lifelong commitment and how that ideal is applied in our Church today.  Our Catholic Church sees marriage – as did Jesus – as a covenant between a woman and a man, who enter a partnership of their whole lives.  However, we know from experience that not all marriages reflect the ideal Jesus sets up in today’s gospel. 

There are many reasons why a marriage might fail.  For example, for one reason or another, one or both of the marriage partners are not capable of the kind of dying to self that it takes for a marriage to succeed.  Perhaps the parties were not emotionally mature at the time they married, nor fully free in giving their marriage consent. 

Action
According to our first reading today, the mutuality between a man and a woman finds its fullest expression in marriage (“a man leaves his father and mother and joins himself to his wife and they become one flesh” 1 Genesis 2:18-14) and Jesus repeats the message in Genesis regarding the indissolubility of Marriage.  In their lengthy commentary on the subject of marriage, The Irish Association of Catholic Priests states that it is no coincidence that immediately after the passage in which he speaks of marriage, Mark, in his Gospel, gives us a story about children being brought for Jesus’ blessing and focuses on the idea that marriage is a tried and tested way in which children can grow up to be loved, as well as being given stability and security. 

Because of the importance of marriage, both to parents and children, Pope Francis has said that we need new ways to deal with the sad fact of marital separation.  Our Church must meet people where they are and show due regard for people who are in new unions after their first has broken up, for whatever reason. All of us need to understand that marital problems are not solved by constant preaching.  Here there is no substitute for patience, understanding and Christian love.  Conscious of this, the church has established counseling programs to help couples prepare for marriage and, later, to help them cope with the conflicts that threaten their perseverance.  

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