Tuesday, September 03, 2019

“Build One Another Up” by Melanie Rigney @melanierigney)

Image by John Hain from Pixabay

“Build One Another Up” by Melanie Rigney


Therefore, encourage one another and build one another up, as indeed you do. (1 Thessalonians 5:11)

I believe that I shall see the good things of the Lord in the land of the living. (Psalm 27:13)

They were all amazed and said to one another, "What is there about his word? For with authority and power, he commands the unclean spirits, and they come out." (Luke 4:36)


Piety
Lord, help me to consider my words and let them reflect Your Love.

Study
This time around, it started off nicely enough, a conversation about our summers and mutual travel experiences. Lots of smiles, a few nods, and laughs. I congratulated myself; maybe this time with this acquaintance would be different. Maybe the judge-y remarks, not just about me but about those we were with, wouldn’t come. Maybe it was the start of a friendship.

The next day, the two of us were with a group of people. I made a comment in passing about a conversation I’d had with someone else. She stopped me to say I had shared information that I shouldn’t have. I tried to explain that what I had said wasn’t exactly top-secret, classified stuff. But even when others agreed, she wouldn’t let it go. I gave up and became silent.

The following day, we were preparing for an activity when she proceeded to tell me I was going to do it all wrong—not that I’d done anything yet, not that she was providing instruction, not that anyone’s life or salvation would be in danger. In essence, I told her to back off. Her reaction was to tell people for days how nasty I’d been to her. A couple of people contacted me to say she’s had a troubled life, and so we just need to accept her as she is.

The more I thought about it, the more I thought both they and I were wrong. Returning fire for fire surely isn’t the answer and is a mode of action I still default to too often. I recognize that. I work at it. But neither is saying nothing. Paul’s words in today’s first reading advise us to “encourage one another and build one another up”; sometimes, that involves loving correction. My acquaintance and I would have both been far better served if I had listened rather than reacted if I had asked questions about what was behind her comments—Fear? Perfectionism? Rightly placed concern about my past actions? Then we might have had a true conversation. And that is what I will strive for in future encounters, not only with her but with others I find difficult to love.

Action
Listen before speaking in a difficult conversation today. Encourage and build up rather than tear down.

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